


Screams and Tears

by LuLuIceifer



Series: Cherished Disgrace [12]
Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Crying, Emotional Hurt, M/M, Men Crying, Mention of being a sex pet, No sex tbh, Sex Toys, Tears, but a lot of mention of rape before, dream - Freeform, guilty, naked, screaming at Ryoma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-15
Updated: 2017-10-15
Packaged: 2019-01-17 20:39:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12373599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LuLuIceifer/pseuds/LuLuIceifer
Summary: Takumi found himself lying in his room after being raped by the Nohrian Prince. But it isn't long before he hears Ryoma's footsteps outside, entering his room.





	Screams and Tears

**Author's Note:**

> I would highly recommend you to read the precious works of this series (Cherished Disgrace), since you will need to know the background of the story. (even though I will admit that there are a lot of flaws in the previous chapters)
> 
> Okay, I can hear someone saying that they don't want to read 71k words. So short summary of what happened: CQ and Hoshido is defeated. Takumi is captured as Leo's sex pet and he was dehumanised by him. This (dream) chapter happens AFTER Takumi is showcased naked in the Hoshidan plaza (so you know how broken he is, and how mad he is at Ryoma because if Ryoma didn't die, Ryoma will need to suffer the pain he has been though).
> 
> To whom has followed this series: This is a dream chapter (since the previous one is quite successful, I should say). You may treat it as a spin-off (even though this kind of affects the main story). Anyways, Drace isn't here because she isn't interested in this chapter.

Takumi is lying on the floor, naked. His arrows are still placed right beside the cabinet, and his dolls placed beside his bed. His archery clothes are scattered around the ground, with Fujin Yumi laying on the wall.

 

He is in his room, the room he used to be in when he was a Prince.

 

_ How long have I missed it?  _ The Hoshidan stares around the room. He knows it is certainly a dream, especially when sees Fujin Yumi doesn’t have the scars he made during the throne display. He is so sure that Leo is watching him somewhere when he realises he is decorated with the sex toys he gave him.

 

_ Nothing has changed - The toys, the paintings, the dolls - They are all in the same place.  _

 

_ Everything except me. _

 

Takumi gasps when he suddenly hears footsteps right outside his room. He tries to run into his closet, but he fails so utterly and falls on the ground. Crawling, he hides behind the shoji.

 

“Are you here, Takumi?” His older brother stops in front of his room and slides open the door. “Can I come in?”

 

Takumi shuts the closet shoji and yells. “Takumi is not here, Ryoma.” He continues with a low, grumpy voice. “He will never be.”

 

_ He is gone, Ryoma. All because of you. _

 

_ He is gone forever, all because you selfishly committed suicide. _

 

“Why do you need to be so rude, Takumi? We are really worried about you.” Ryoma enters the room and continues. “We haven’t seen you since Hoshido’s defeat. Where have you been?”

 

Takumi bites his lips. He doesn't know what he should tell Ryoma, when he realises everything he suffered is because of him. He doesn't know whether he should shout at him and blame him for turning him into a slave or to seek help from him.

 

Takumi hugs his knees and nudges his head between it. But the more he ignores his underlying warmth, the more he wants to rage at his brother.

 

“There is nothing to look at.” He mutters, trying to hide his anger. Tears fill his eyes and roll off his cheek. “There is nothing you can do, Ryoma.”

 

“Please, brother, you don’t need to be so hopeless!” Ryoma slides the cabinet shoji open. “You know… Takumi?”

 

The crown Prince stands in silence, staring at his naked brother with sex toys attached. He gazes at the second Prince of Hoshido, who has a Nohrian brand on his head and a collar on his neck. 

 

Takumi glares at return, with his hands searching for a clothing to cover himself. His tears are filled with unspeakable anger. His face is twisted and his cheek is red. His eyes are burning. His body is controlled by his agony.

 

“Don’t tell me you are Takumi...” Ryoma’s eyes are filled with distrust. His body is shivering, half because of regretting his cheerful tone and half because of his brother’s purplish body. He can see how much Takumi doesn't want him to be here, and how much he has been possessed by his anger. He wants to hug his brother, but he is too afraid to make a move. 

 

Takumi shuts the door and gasps. “Yes, I am Takumi. I’m a slut now, Ryoma.” He takes a deep breath and sobs. “I’m a whore now, that kind of people you despise. Are you satisfied now, Prince Ryoma? ARE YOU HAPPY TO SEE ME BEING DEFLOWERED BECAUSE IT WASN’T YOU WHO SUFFERED?”

 

The younger brother sobs harder when he realises he is the yelling at his brother. He doesn't know why he did that, or why he pushes him away, even if that he his sibling.

 

_ His real sibling. _

 

“N-No… I-I never thought…”

 

“OF COURSE YOU HAVE NEVER THOUGHT OF IT! YOU HAVE NEVER WORRIED ABOUT ME!” Takumi gaps, with tears pouring from his eyes. He has already lost control of what he is doing. His body has already given up to whatever pulling the strings. “TELL ME, THAT YOU NEVER CARED ABOUT ME, THAT YOU NEVER THOUGHT OF WHAT I HAVE BECOME! YOU ARE LAUGHING AT ME NOW, LAUGHING AT ME HOW MUCH A FAILURE I AM! LAUGHING AT HOW I DEHUMANIZED! LAUGHING BECAUSE IT WASN’T YOU WHO SUFFERED!”

 

Takumi sobs. He doesn't want to scream at Ryoma, not at the very only time he can meet him. He doesn't want to listen to Ryoma’s shivering voice and horrified sobs. He doesn't want to know that Ryoma is scared of him.

 

“Takumi, no… I do care about you… I've always cared about you...” Takumi can feel Ryoma sitting beside the cabinet door, and his body shivering. His voice is quivering as much as his body. Even he can't see Ryoma’s eyes, he is more than sure that tears have covered it. “You are my little brother…” He mumbles, and places his palm on the door, “You will always be my little brother…”

 

“Heh, funny isn’t it? It’s because I am your little brother, I kept on being overshadowed by you. You are the King and I am the useless Prince. I am the useless Prince that everyone criticises!” His face is covered with a thin layer of salt, and his evil laughs mix with his sobs. His dull eyes glare at his brother’s shadow.

 

“But now, everything goes wrong, BUT I AM THE ONE SUFFERING!” Takumi screams so hard that his voice goes out. “TELL ME WHY? WHY CAN YOU DIE SO PEACEFULLY? WHY CAN YOU DIE AND LEAVE ALL THE TORTURES FOR ME? WHAT HAVE I DONE WRONG?” He gasps for air and punches the door. “WHY ARE EVERYONE CALLING ME A TRAITOR? AM I JUST A REPLACEMENT IN YOUR EYES? A REPLACEMENT OF THE KING WHEN HE NEEDS TO SUFFER? TELL ME! TELL ME WHY AM I THE ONE CAPTURED?” 

 

He stops, waiting for his brother’s reply. He clenches his fist and bites his lips before roaring at his brother’s shadow once more.

 

“ANSWER ME, RYOMA!”

 

“T-Takumi…” Takumi can see his brother’s tears running down the rice paper. “I never think you as a replacement…” Ryoma hugs his knees and places his palm onto the shoji. “Not even once… Ta-”

 

“You are telling me because you don’t want to be a Nohrian sex pet!” The younger brother snaps before letting Ryoma finishes his sentence. “BUT DO YOU KNOW HOW PAINFUL I AM? DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I BEEN THROUGH? DO YOU KNOW HOW I FELT WHEN MY VIRGINITY IS TAKEN AWAY BY A NOHRIAN? DO YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL WHEN I’M TREATED LIKE AN ANIMAL? DO YOU KNOW?”

 

Takumi cries to the open sky before lying down on his clothes, staring emptily at the ceiling. He has already lost his voice. He has already lost control of what he is doing. Now, he sees the Hoshidan crowned Prince crying, shivering because of him. All because of him.

 

“You won’t be guilty…” He mutters, so softly that the crowned Prince can barely listen it. “You won’t be guilty for what you have done… Of course you won’t… Who wants to suffer like me… dehumanized… deflowered… treated like a sex toy by those Nohrians… and tortured by them…” Tears prick from the edge of his eyes. “Who will want to live such a life? Isn’t it, Ryoma? Is that why you suicide and give me such life? Is that what you are thinking? Is that what you are thinking all the time?”

 

Takumi laughs wickedly as his tears run down his cheek. “How stupid was I, Ryoma, to even think that you cared about me? That I think you will at least show some emotion when you see me this?” He gasps and faces his brother. “But at last, it is only me and myself. It’s only me who suffered throughout this. Why did I even think you will save me? Why did I even think that you will be  _ guilty _ for what you have done?”

 

The room is suddenly so silent. It is only Takumi’s sobs and Ryoma’s tears dripping onto his armour. The high prince wanted to peek at his brother, but he is scared that his brother will snap at him, once again. He is so afraid to see Takumi possessed by his anger, the anger created all because of him.

 

“I am really sorry, Takumi. I am really sorry for all the things that happened to you.” Ryoma whispers and weeps. “I know you won’t listen to me anymore, Takumi. You will never trust me again. You can’t trust me after what I’ve done. But I just want to tell you how I feel.” 

 

He leans at the shoji, and soaks the rice paper in his tears. “I want to see you again… I want to meet you again… No matter you are prince, or a slut, you are always my brother. My little brother that I cherished, the little brother that I always love.” He takes a deep breathe and gazes at his brother’s shadow. “I’m really sorry that I did not have enough time with you, but it doesn’t change the fact that I love you, always. I know it won’t cure the wounds I have done, but I am guilty, I am truly guilty for how selfish I was.”

 

His voice starts to tremble, so as his body. “I am scared of being a slut, a sex pet. I can’t imagine what I will be if my virginity is taken away this way. I can’t imagine how will I be if I was treated as an animal.” He lowers his voice and touches his brother’s shadow. 

 

“I’m really sorry, Takumi. You must have been a harsh time being alone. But now, would it be better if I leave?”

 

Takumi stares at his brother’s shadow, standing up before touching the shoji one last time. His hand places on the slide, stops for a few seconds, but loses the grip before looking at his brother one last time. He can see his mouth moving ‘I’m sorry, Takumi.’ nonstop, as if he can really hear him apologizing for so many times. 

 

“I don’t know if we will meet again, or if you are willing to see me again.” Ryoma parts his lips. His voice is still shivering, so as his body. He can still hear his sobbing voice and dry throat. 

 

“But for now, goodbye, my dear Takumi.”

 

Ryoma’s shadow fades away right before Takumi’s eyes. He wants to stop him, ask him whether he can stay for a bit longer. But he can’t, after what he has told him. He can’t speak to him after yelling at him. His trembling hand slides open the closet door, just to see Ryoma leaving, like what his Mother did, like how every other Hoshidan did.

 

Leaving him alone, again.

**Author's Note:**

> I think I've written Ryoma a bit too emotional.
> 
> This used to be a part of the maid chapter (that is the next chapter), but then I reread it all again and find it was a TOTAL MESS (except this part). So I need to delete the whole thing, and start the new maid chapter from draft.
> 
> (Me and Drace are experiencing a not-enough-kinky-idea situation. We might not update the next chapter so soon... It may take one month or even longer. I'll do Underlying anyways~)


End file.
